The Prayer
by Serethiel96
Summary: Destiel pre-slash! The first time it happened, the angel just thought it was an illusion. He thought it was some completely twisted and tortured design to slowly break him apart. Or maybe it was just his rabid insanity playing painful mind tricks on him. After all, it wouldn't be the first time his delusions destroyed the thin veil of what reality he still desperately clung to.


_**A/N: Oops! I accidentally Destiel-ed! So was anybody else just emotionally ruined by 8x2? I'm still rejoicing that we got our hug! Yay for season gr8! Carver and Edlund are positively brilliant writers and I'm so glad they're in control now. **_

_**So this was a little drabble I came up with after the episode. The entire show just radiated Destiel, from the hug to Dean saying, "I prayed to you Cas! Every night!" This is my take on Dean's first prayer to Cas when they're in Purgatory. **_

_**Disclaimer: I am neither Carver nor Edlund. Or Eric Kripke. So no… I own nothing. *Le sigh.***_

_**The Prayer**_

Castiel only had one thing on his mind as soon as he realized where he and Dean were now trapped.

He had to keep Dean safe, whatever the cost.

So he fled. As soon as Dean turned his back, Castiel extended his wings and took flight, refusing to look back even once. Every single feather felt like it had been replaced by ten pounds of led, each flap seemed to kill his back. But he didn't stop. He couldn't stop. He knew if he did, he would be too tempted to return to Dean's side. He heard Dean calling out his name; he could hear the worry laced with fear in the hunter's tone. It was like agony to his ears.

He couldn't stay. No matter how badly the angel longed to be right by Dean's side, he wasn't stupid. His companionship would cause Dean's death in this place. Hell, his companionship had almost cost Dean and Sam's lives on more than one occasion. Death seemed to follow Castiel, trailing behind him, leaving a trail of blood gore. Why would Purgatory prove to be any exception?

In all honesty, Castiel would rather be in Hell all alone than caged in Purgatory with the man he considered his closest friend. Dean didn't deserve this. It was only a matter of time before the Leviathan and all the other tortured souls were made aware of Castiel's arrival. If he stayed with Dean, the hunter would be made public enemy number two. Dean didn't need the angel to survive. Not like Castiel needed Dean to keep him alive.

So he fled. And he kept going until he was sure Dean wouldn't be able to find him.

~SPN~DESTIEL~SPN

The first time it happened, the angel just thought it was an illusion. He thought it was some completely twisted and tortured design to slowly break him apart. Or maybe it was just his rabid insanity playing painful mind tricks on him. After all, it wouldn't be the first time his delusions destroyed the thin veil of what reality he still desperately clung to. Parodies of his old life and even future hopes danced around, toying nearly endlessly with his perception of what was real and what was false. How was he to know if what he was hearing was true?

Castiel stood rigid with his back pressed against a tree, terrified that if he moved even the slightest inch, the sudden voice would cease to exist. He didn't want it to go away. He would've done most anything to keep that deep and achingly familiar voice from stopping.

**"**_**Cas? Cas! Answer me, dammit!"**_

Dean's voice was pleading, _begging _to be answered. Invisible wings twitched involuntarily on the angel's back, as if they ached to fly back to the hunter. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his friend in them, to whisper reassuring words in his ear and tell him that everything would be alright in the end. But he didn't. Castiel's wings remained plastered to his back and his feet remained on the dirt covered. His cerulean eyes closed as his ears drank in Dean's words. God only knew when he'd ever hear them again. That is, if he actually was hearing Dean's voice and not an illusion of his mind.

As Dean went on, his voice audibly softened but lost none of its intensity. "_**Cas, where the hell are you? I mean, I turn around for one second and you pull a freaking Houdini on me! Next time can you give a few seconds heads up before flying off like that? Way to freak a guy out! So if you could just get your little winged ass down here pronto and give me some kind of explanation, that'd be really freaking fantastic."**_

It was just all so real. So _Dean._ It took every ounce of self control Castiel had to keep him from zapping to Dean's side. His wings involuntarily jerked at the thought, almost tearing through the threads of his white hospital uniform and his starched trench coat.

A long silence followed. Cas's breathing seemed to be the only noise for miles. His eyes remained shut. He worried that as soon as they opened again, the illusion would be gone. He worried that Dean's prayer was just another creation of his mind and that it never really happened. The Lucifer hallucination had tortured him enough by using Dean's form to lure the broken angel into a false sense of security. How was Castiel to know if this be any different? After all, when was the last time Dean had prayed to him? Doubt began to snake its way into his mind. He just couldn't bring himself to think that only after an hour, Dean would be calling for his return.

The quiet seemed endless. Castiel's heart dropped to his stomach; the knowledge that it was unlikely that he would hear Dean's voice call out to him again was like being hit with a ton of bricks. Blue eyes opened to reluctantly embrace the surrounding darkness of night. His body moved from its rigid state against the tree. Castiel began to walk with the intentions of leaving all thoughts of the prayer behind him.

**"**_**Cas?"**_

The angel instantly stopped in his tracks.

**"**_**Cas… Do you… Do you copy? Are you there?" **_

It was real. It was real. **It was real. **Dean was praying to him.

_**"Cas, you're kinda scaring me, man. It would be nice to know you can hear me!**_

__"Yes, Dean, I can hear you." Even though he could hear the hunter, the hunter couldn't hear him. Castiel's words fell upon deaf ears. He did care that Dean couldn't hear him. He was speaking more for his own benefit anyways. "I always hear you."

_**"If you can hear me, can you at least have the freaking courtesy to give me some kind of sign? At least let me know you're okay. I mean… I'm thinking of all the worst case scenarios right now so if you could just let me know you're not dead, I'd be really grateful."**_

That's how Castiel found himself on the ground, his lost eyes searching for answers among the starless Purgatory skies. So many thoughts filled his brain; so many emotions filled his chest that he felt like they were smothering him. It was almost impossible to think that until four years ago nothing had mattered to him except his service to the Father. Now all he wanted was for Dean to be safe and for them to get out alive. Listening to Dean's prayer only strengthened that want.

_**"Cas? I'm guessing you're a little tied up or something, or I'm assuming you can't even hear me and I'm over here looking like an idiot staring up at the sky and rambling to myself. I just… I need… Just be safe, man, okay? For both our sakes."**_

"And I need you to be safe for my sake."

_**"'Night, Cas."**_

"Goodnight, Dean."

_**A/N: Not the longest thing I've ever written, but I'm satisfied. This is kinda unrelated but I have another story called "We've Been Falling For All This Time," that I will be deleting soon. I'm just not happy with it, and I've just thought of a whole different plotline. Anyways, please review! Or favorite, whatever floats your boat!**_


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